Our experiance at Birthing Your Way

One thing about having a new baby is I have lots of free time at night to think. I was up must of the night last night contemplating how to approach people who are suddenly viewing Baby Johns birth with a negative perspective. And the minutes I did sleep I dreamt about it. Aaaarg!  I've decided, now that I have rediscovered my blog, I will vent here and hopefully that will be good enough for my piece of mind. Because I don't think I can stay composed addressing  people face to face about it.  Unless they address me, then it's greatly appreciated! 

Some back ground...To those who don't know we had John at birth center called Birthing Your Way. After Harper was born I quickly realized there was so much more about having a baby than I realized.  & one very large thing was where you have your baby. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with John I started looking into all my options. And first was to find prenatal care. It wasn't long before I found BYW and chose them.  I can list all the reasons why, but mainly and most importantly I was comfortable with them & the options they provided were much more appealing than anywhere else.  Whether at a different center, a hospital, or even at home.

I didn't volunteer this information to everyone right away. Just people I knew would be excited or open minded about it. I knew people would be taken off guard, and skeptical.  I really wanted a positive pregnancy (which I was struggling with) and birth experience. So I just avoided telling people. Probably about one month ago most people knew we were planning a birth center birth.    

I was actually quite pleased with the responses I got.  Either the person would be really intrigued and asked all the right questions, or they wouldn't say much and forgot about it. I assume that things were said between others that I wouldn't necessarily want them saying without me or Jared around to defend our decision, I don't know.  It just seems like that's how the world works.

 

Anyway, to sum up the whole birth-story, labor and delivery were more amazing than I could have imagined!  Everything went so smoothly, & not once did I question any of our decisions.  It was wonderful to have somewhat of a relationship with everyone there. Not one face was unfamiliar.  I was so comfortable with the team that I chosen to be around me.  

After birth I did have some bleeding from tears and stitching. I developed a hematoma. But I never was concerned.  The midwife let me know that it was an option (as always) to go to the hospital to have the hematoma taken care of there, if I felt better about it.  I thought for a few minutes, and talked with her and Jared, but I felt confident in her abilities. We stayed at the birth center and she took great care of me.

 

It's normal to leave the birth center 2-3 hours after delivery. We stay 8 1/2 hours after John was born. (Was it really that long?)  They were in no rush to let me leave, and made sure I was well rested and stable.  I was very light headed for a long time, and still need to take it easy.  I didn't expect to be bouncing around anytime soon after the birth. Everything that happened would have gone just the same way, or worse, at a hospital. Either way I am sure I would have been in great hands.

Now to my real point of this rant...  Suddenly people are vocalizing their negative opinion(s) about our decision to have John at a birth center.  That it is 'stupid', and 'not safe'. After the birth? After we achieved everything, and more, that we wanted to at his birth?  After we are home and doing well?

I knew people would be skeptical from the beginning. That is how our society works.  We didn't choose to do the popular thing, so it is frowned on.  I was prepared for that.  But seriously, why after? Weird....

But if you are suddenly questioning our decision now, let me explain...

Jared and I educated ourselves. We prepared ourselves. We knew exactly what we were doing.  We made the best choice for our growing family.  It may not be the best choice, or even appealing to every or anyone. But it was for us. & guess what? That is what matters. And people need to be aware of that fact.  

 

I have heard many people say 'they don't need to educate themselves on having a baby, that's what the doctor is for'. That's great for them!  It wasn't great for us. After educating ourselves is when we chose the birth center.  It was not an irrational or impulsive choice. I loved knowing all my options. I loved having my opinions listened to, respected and followed through.  I loved that I had real questions that came from my own research not from a list of question to ask your provider.  I knew their protocols and procedures. I loved not having any surprises from my team during labor and delivery. Can these things all happen at a hospital? Of course they can! But I wanted to give birth where I was most comfortable, and where I thought I had the best chance at achieving my goal. (VBAC).  And I loved that I had that choice!  I knew all the pros and cons that came with that choice. 

Things can always go wrong.  I know that.  But my gut never told me I was in danger, not even close.  And why would I be?  I was surrounded by people I trusted, and have grown to love.  And they trusted me and my ability to birth my baby.  They never questioned my instincts and my abilities.  I was a great candidate for a natural birth.  I worked hard to achieve my goal. 


To quote my amazing birth instructor,

"A woman should be encouraged to birth in the place where she feels most comfortable. Period."

"Everyone benefits from understanding their choices and being given the opportunity to ponder and plan for the type of experience they wish to have as they bring their baby into the world."

 

 It's great to question everything. That is something I have learned while preparing to have John.  I feel it's even better to follow our intuition.  We did both.  And couldn't be more pleased!